Friday, February 29, 2008

Rantings of the Lazy Iguana

Beer, boats, liberal politics, sarcasm, and a whole lot of irreverence.
Grab a brew, take off your tie, and get ready for the party with the Lazy Iguana.
There are some things you just can't say enough good things about. So I'll shut the hell up now and let you jump into the fray and see for yourself.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Lobster Boy

If you have ever waited tables, you will appreciate Lobster Boy's blog. He has worked at Red Lobster for 10 years. As far as I can tell, he has never ripped out anyone's throat with a lobster claw, although the thought has probably crossed his mind. A good educational primer for anyone about to go to a restaurant. Before I became a slave at the Gerri Atrik Retirement Community, I was a server and bartender, so I know how it is. Actually in spite of all the crap I sometimes wish I hadn't left. It actually wasn't the customers, who, believe me, gave me reason to bitch. It was the politics. Now I work nights so I'm never right in the middle of the fray. However, I do miss knowing that I'll at least have enough money to put in the gas tank at the end of a shift!
Remember, folks, your server is not a slave. But they do get slave wages. The gold standard in my neck of the woods is $2.13 an hour. So don't be a cheapskate--tip righteously! 20-25% is good these days. A 10% tip is CHEAP! Hollywood reporter Mike Evans loves ratting out the bad tippers in Tacky-Town. Some of them, with their millions, tip less than 10%. Shame!
So when at your local Red Lobster, (or anywhere else) tip well. Because you never know--Lobster Boy may be your server. I said he hasn't ripped out anyone's throat with a lobster claw YET! You don't want to be the first!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Wasted Blog

If you've been blogging for a while then you may already know about Wasted Blog, your source for strange, funny, enlightening, and/or disturbing news around the world. You can join the Wasted Blog community and become a friend, getting your link featured on their Special Friends list when people travel from your blog to Wasted Blog, possibly in order to get wasted, possibly just to destroy a few brain cells. Please visit Wasted Blog from my link 'cause I wanna be speshul!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Terry's Timeout

Terry's blog always has nice pictures. And gets more comments than I get on all of my damn blogs combined, so I'm jealous. I'm beginning to think that for me the blogging idea is a stupid one because it mostly makes me feel bad. I think I have lots of interesting things to say but apparently nobody else does. The fact that I just had another birthday isn't doing anything to contribute to a positive mood either.
This meme came from Terry's blog so I stole it.

1. By what nickname(s) were you known as a child?
Butterfly. Because I loved butterflies. I think I should have been known as "pupa" because I never emerged from my cocoon.

2. Do you have a favorite poem and, if so, what is it? Recite it (or a snippet) here, please.

Alone
by Edgar Allan Poe

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

3. What is your greatest regret in life, something that you failed to do that you wish you did?

I regret a lot of things. I guess one thing I regret is not having tried to get more things published sooner. I had some stupid idea that I was going to be an actress so I didn't concentrate on my writing. Also I regret gaining as much weight as I have. It's a lot harder to take it off when things have gone this far.

4. You are tired and hungry, but it's too late to cook. If any snack food were available to you, what would you choose and why?

The jerky that I am involved with selling. It's actually reasonably healthy. My favorites are the sweet and spicy beef and the hot and spicy Buffal-o's.

5. What is the oldest item of clothing (not jewelry!) that you wear regularly and what do you love about it?

Most of the clothing I own is old and crappy. As long as it's comfortable and doesn't have too many holes, I don't care, I keep wearing it. I refuse to wear uncomfortable clothes.

Friday, February 1, 2008

The Village Tales of Fekenham Swarberry

Do you like things that are bawdy, naughty, libelous and licentious? Then you must read The Village Tales of Fekenham Swarberry. To quote the creator, Cocaine Jesus, it is "A weekly vignette of a parallel universe England where ale is pulled from barrels and leather balls smack resoundingly against willow bats and the local vicar smokes weed and the publican consorts with loose women." If that sounds like your sort of thing, then you're probably the kind of person I'd show my hidden goodies to!
My hidden blogs, that is. My, but you have a dirty mind, don't you?
If so, then follow this link, and you'll be going to the right place!